Murder Isn't Only In Midsomer
by Fourteen Hundred Hours
Summary: There's a lot of dodgy goings on in Hollyoaks, but quite often the police there aren't up to Midsomer standards. When Seamus Brady is murdered Barnaby and Troy are transferred in onto the case. Being a Hollyoaks/Midsomer crossover nearly everyone could be the murderer... NOT ENTIRELY SERIOUS!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: this is just a random fic I thought of at the end of one of my maths exams. As far as time frames go the Midsomer is from around the Troy series, and Hollyoaks shall be around the episode that aired on 28****th**** January 2013. Cos that's the last one I saw before I started writing this, so when events in my fic start to get out of synch with the TV series I can only apologise. As far as taking it seriously goes… this fic is for fun. Don't take it too seriously.**

**Obviously I own neither of these franchises, otherwise the Chester police would be much more competent and there would be a Midsomer spinoff much like 'Lewis' called 'Troy'. And Joel would've properly killed Seamus.**

The sky had already darkened as Seamus Brady made his way back home. He was heading back early, by his standards, but Cheryl had asked if tonight he would help her make the tea. He supposed it was to do with the remark he'd made last night.

"_You spend so much time cooking for your old da… I hardly see you!" _He'd joked as she'd plated up that evening's meal. She'd smiled, and said it was nothing, waving his remark off. Seamus could tell she was thinking about it all evening though, so when she asked him as he headed out the next morning he was hardly surprised.

"_Of course I'll help. I'm just glad one of my children wants to spend time with me."_ Although he was speaking to Cheryl the last part of it had been directed at Brendan, who had stopped by seemingly only to pick up a box of cereal. _"You going to eat all that yourself, son?" _He'd asked, but Brendan had just pushed past and left without a word.

"_Don't worry about Brendan, daddy. He does love you, he just… goes about it a different way to the rest of us." _Cheryl was forever trying to get him and Brendan to spend more time together. Personally he wondered why she still bothered with Brendan, why she wasn't disgusted by the sight of him, but didn't dwell on it too much. Instead he thought about the upcoming races, mentally running through the horses, their odds, and how much money he could afford to bet this time.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't notice the footsteps approaching from behind until their owner was right behind him. He turned round and frowned, before smiling in recognition.

"Oh, it's you. How can I help you this fine evening?" he chuckled slightly, then dropped to the floor as he was struck in the head. No-one saw as he was dragged round a corner, and no-one noticed until a few hours later that he was actually gone. And it wasn't until the next day that his body was found in an alley and the police called out.

"Why are we here, sir?" Sergeant Troy asked DCI Barnaby as he pulled the car up to a stop.

"Because there's been a murder, Troy. That's what we do- we solve murders." Barnaby gave his sergeant an amused look.

"Yeah, I know that, sir, but I mean _here _here. In Chester." Troy clarified.

"It's part of a transfer scheme. Something the commissioner thought up to better develop the police force. Apparently Midsomer squad have a higher success rate than here." Barnaby looked thoughtfully out of the window.

"Mind you, I bet Midsomer's got a higher crime rate than this place. Just look at it!"

"I wouldn't be so sure on that Troy." Barnaby thought of how the idyllic villages in his county had housed some of the most gruesome murders he'd come across. Hollyoaks village looked like nothing special, but Barnaby bet the residents had secrets to rival those in Midsomer.

"I suppose we'd better go and see the body then." Troy unbuckled his seat and got out of the car. He noticed a young man in dressed in shirt and chinos looking at them curiously. Being the only person around that he could see Troy walked over, reaching into his jacket pocket for his badge. "Hi. I'm Detective Sergeant Troy, I'm here about the murder." He introduced himself.

"Right. Yeah, the murder. You wanna head down that way; it should be pretty obvious when you get there."

"Thank you." Barnaby had joined Troy. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Ste Hay." Ste looked from Barnaby to Troy then back again. "Is that it? You don't need to ask me questions or anything do ya? Only I need to get to work." He gestured with his head over to a shop, hands wedged in his pockets.

"No, no, nothing else for now. I'll have to ask you not to leave the village though, at least until we've got a statement from you." Barnaby answered.

"A statement? Like to do with the murder?" Ste asked.

"Yes, about the murder. Unless there are any other crimes you think we should know about." Troy said, a bit too sarcastically for Barnaby's liking, who duly gave his sergeant a reproachful look.

"Could we come and find you sometime in the afternoon?" Barnaby continued.

"Yeah, I'll be in the deli over there." Ste took one hand out of his pocket to point at the deli.

"Thank you." Barnaby said. Ste just nodded and hurried off, letting himself into the deli and changing the sign on the door from 'closed' to 'open'.

"Reckon they do sandwiches there?" Troy was already thinking about his lunch. He received no answer though, as Barnaby had already left in the direction Ste had pointed to. Troy had to jog slightly to catch him up, but slowed to a walk as they approached the body. They had to push past the crowd of people that had gathered there and duck under the crime scene tape before they could see the body. Seamus Brady looked almost peaceful, and if it wasn't for the large trickle of blood that had dried down one side of his face it would see as if he was sleeping.

"Suffocation." A man who Barnaby assumed to be the pathologist rose to his feet, having been kneeling down before.

"I'm sorry?" Barnaby would've preferred to do the introductions before jumping into the details of the murder, but it seemed he had little choice in the matter.

"Well, a sharp blow to the head to knock him unconscious followed by suffocation. Brilliantly simple. Obviously I'll be able to tell you more once I've got him to the lab, but I'd say he was hit by a brick, or something similar." The man seemed to sense Barnaby's thoughts. "Evan Weeks, by the way. I would shake your hand but… well, it's got blood on it." he held up his gloved hand to prove his point.

"DCI Barnaby. I don't suppose you can tell us anything else?" Barnaby asked.

"Such as who this guy even is." Troy joined in.

"Seamus Brady. Moved here over a month ago to live with his kids from Ireland. Dunno much else to be honest." Evan picked up a plastic bag from near the body and handed it to Troy. "That's his phone, wallet keys. Make of that what you will."

"His children- where would I find them?" Barnaby prompted.

"Dunno. You're asking the wrong person. I'm just the pathologist." Barnaby had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. Troy looked as if he was about to say something, but he was interrupted by a shout from the watching crowd.

"Heya! Are you police gonna find the guy who did this or just stand around talking all day?!" a woman with long dark hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and leopard print leggings yelled at them.

"Jacqui! Let them do their job." A younger blonde tried to shut her up.

"Yeah, but they're just standing there. Talking." Jacqui argued. Barnaby made his way over.

"I'm sorry Miss…?"

"McQueen. Jacqui McQueen."

"Theresa." The blonde girl smiled at him.

"Miss McQueen, please be assured we're doing the best we can to find out who did this. That is, however, going to involve a lot of talking, with you and other members of this village." Barnaby was starting to think he was right about his impression of Hollyoaks.

"Yeah. Well you better find him. We've had one serial killer here before and don't want another one." Jacqui crossed her arms.

"Look, Jacqui, we'll just go, yeah?" Theresa tried. Jacqui grudgingly let herself be led away, looking back over her shoulder at the scene.

"Friendly village, isn't it?" Troy had appeared at Barnaby's elbow. "Anyway, turns out dead guy's kids are a Brendan and Cheryl Brady. I've found out where they live- do you want to go talk to them?"

"Yes, Troy. I think that would be a good idea." Barnaby followed Troy out of the alley and towards the Brady's house.

**Lemme know what you think! Reviews are appreciated. Generally.**


	2. Chapter 2

**If you're still reading this: thank you! You are now officially part of an elite group I like to call "favourite online people of mine that I don't know".**

**Sorry, that might've come across as we-ird. Anyhoo, in this chapter: the Bradys are the first to be questioned. Hope you enjoy. **

"I just can't believe he's dead, you know." Cheryl Brady wasn't crying anymore, but it was still clear where the tears had run down her face. She spoke quietly. "You'd think I'd be used to this by now- losing the ones close to me, but I'm not. It still hurts." She swallowed and looked down at the mug in her hands.

"I know this is very difficult for you, Miss Brady, but it would be much appreciated if you could answer a few of our questions." Barnaby said using a well-practiced tone. On cue Troy took out his notebook and flipped to a fresh page, fishing around in his pocket for a pen.

"Could you tell us when you last saw your father?" he had his pen poised on the paper.

"Yesterday. Before lunch. I had lunch with Leanne… she's a friend, and I think he went to the pub. I thought he'd be back around six. He… he was going to help me make dinner." She looked on the verge of tears again but took a deep shuddering breath and then continued. "And before you ask, no, I don't know why anyone'd want to kill him. He was a kind, thoughtful man. He helped find a little kid, Charlie, when he went missing a few weeks ago." Cheryl's eyes glazed over slightly as she remembered.

"And he didn't call, or text or anything between when you last saw him and when he… when you noticed he was missing?" Troy continued. Cheryl shook her head. "Is there anything else you can tell us? Anything that might help?" She shook her head again then frowned.

"Yeah, there was something actually. I'd kind of forgotten. A few weeks ago there was this mugging incident. Da was on his way home and he just got… attacked I guess. But that was just random, I mean, it can't have had anything to do with anything he'd done. He didn't recognise the attacker either."

"I see." Barnaby nodded to Troy who tucked his notebook back into his jacket pocket. "That's all we need for now, but rest assured we will find who did this." He stood up. "You said your brother would be at the club?"

"Oh, yeah. He should be, anyway."

"Thank you." Barnaby smiled and stood up. Cheryl smiled back weakly but didn't say anything as the policemen left. She put her mug on the table and sank back onto her sofa, looking into the distance, not focusing on anything but still not crying.

_This time _she thought _this time I'll be stronger._

Brendan closed the door to his office as soon as Ste had walked through. He took his time going to sit round behind his desk, resting his elbows on the table before fixing Ste with a look.

"So. What can I do for you, Stephen?" he asked. Ste moved to stand in front of him.

"Look, don't play games with me, Brendan. Just tell me: was it you that killed your dad?" Ste cut straight to the chase.

"What? No! 'Course not. I promised you, didn't I? No more violence." Brendan's voice was sincere.

"Yeah, and when was the last time you actually kept a promise you made me?" Ste's voice was slightly bitter.

"Stephen, I didn't kill my da." Ste was visibly struggling to accept Brendan's words. "Please."

"Fine." Ste had made his mind up. "But you better not be lying. And the police are here now, so if you are they'll find out."

"Where are they?"

"The police? With Cheryl I think. I saw them head up that way when I was in the deli."

"Huh." Brendan grunted and then opened his mouth to say something else when the door opened. "You need to learn how to knock." He told Kevin, who'd just stuck his head in.

"I'm sorry but-"

"Go back and do it again." Brendan interrupted before exchanging an amused look with Ste. Kevin looked about to argue but was silenced with a glare from Brendan. He dutifully went out, closing the door behind him, then knocked. There was a pause while he waited for further instruction.

"Yes?" Brendan called out. Ste bit his lip, trying to hold back a grin.

"Can I come in?" Kevin asked tentatively. Brendan waited a moment before replying.

"Yeah." The door opened and Kevin poked his head round the door for the second time. "What is it?"

"The police are here to see you."

"Well what are you waiting for? Send them in!" Brendan adjusted his collar as Kevin left to be replaced by Barnaby and Troy.

"Brendan Brady?" Barnaby asked. Brendan nodded. "DCI Barnaby. And this is DS Troy." He presented his badge then turned to Ste. "Ste, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Ste shifted uncomfortably.

"I thought you were at the deli."

"Well I was, but then I came here." He explained. "Actually, I'd best be off." He quickly left, shooting one last look at Brendan before he went.

"Bit suspicious." Troy muttered. Both Barnaby and Brendan ignored him.

"I'm sorry for your loss" Barnaby started.

"Yeah." Brendan scratched his moustache.

"Could you possibly tell us when you last saw him?" Brendan shrugged.

"A couple of days ago? I dunno, I didn't see that much of him."

"I thought he lived with you?" Troy asked.

"I've just moved in with Stephen."

"Are you and he…?" Troy let the question hang.

"Living together? I just said so, didn't I?" Brendan gave Troy a dangerous look.

"Did you and your father get on?" Barnaby moved swiftly on.

"Not really. Never have, I'll admit that. I didn't kill him though, if you were going to ask. I've got better things to do." Brendan gestured to the various papers spread out on his desk.

"Can you think of any reason why anyone would want him dead?" Troy was looking at Brendan curiously.

"I dunno. Gambling debts, maybe? As I said, I didn't see that much of him, so I don't know what he got up to." Brendan spoke fluidly- he was used to having to tell his story to the police, giving them explanations. His face gave nothing away, his body language hid nothing. He was good at this.

"Gambling debts?" Barnaby prompted.

"Yeah, he liked to gamble."

"Is there anyone he was particularly friendly with that we should speak to?"

"You could try the bookie's. Spent more time there then he did with his family. Or the pub. As far as I know he wasn't particularly friendly with anyone." Brendan answered. "Is that it?" he raised an eyebrow.

"One more thing- why did Ste come up here just now?" Barnaby asked on the off-chance it might yield a useful answer such as 'to warn me the police were here'. Brendan cocked his head slightly.

"To say hi. He comes up here a lot. You can ask Kevin to back that up if you like." There was something about Brendan that Barnaby couldn't quite put his finger on. He kept it in the back of his mind for the moment.

"Thank you for your time, Mr Brady." Barnaby moved towards the door. "Can I count on you to stay in the village for the time being? In case we need to ask you further questions."

"I've got business in Chester next week- do you think you'll have finished by then?" Brendan had turned to the papers on his desk, and didn't bother looking up.

"Hopefully." Troy rolled his eyes.

"We'll let you know." Barnaby interjected over Troy. "We'll show ourselves out." Brendan briefly looked up and nodded. Barnaby and Troy left the office- there was no sign of Kevin at the bar. Once outside of the building Troy spoke up.

"Didn't seem particularly upset about his dad's death, did he, sir?" he asked.

"No, Troy, he didn't." Barnaby looked round him, wondering where to go next.

"Do you think he did it?"

"I honestly don't know, Troy. If he did it seems unlikely he'd admit that he didn't get on with his father."

"He looked like he was hiding something though." Troy looked into the deli. "You wouldn't think he was one of them, would you? I mean, the moustache was a bit Village People but apart from that…" he tailed off. Barnaby turned to him in exasperation.

"Troy! You've got to get over this homophobia of yours." Barnaby scolded. "Pub or deli?" he asked, changing the subject.

"For lunch?" Troy asked, thinking with his stomach.

"To find someone to talk to about the murder." Barnaby said slowly. "But yes, and to get lunch as well."

"I say the pub. Do you know where it is?"

"No." Barnaby picked a direction and walked, looking over his shoulder at Troy. "Are you coming?"

**And there we have it. Please review if you have the time **


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